Pet Peeves

Prior to stating what exactly my pet peeve is, I'd like to mention that my internship experience has really picked up now and it is...fabulous. I LOVE my supervisors and the experience that I'm gaining. It is soooo valuable.

That being said, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm sitting in a team meeting and people are complaining about how they don't have enough resources. Naturally, my instinct is to suggest that they inform the District about their concerns. Unfortunately, the answer that I always get is, "oh, of course we have," with a frequent eye roll or a "don't even go there" attitude. But I'm serious. Maybe it's my lack of experience, but how many problems could be solved with a research-based time study assessment of school needs? If the evidence is strongly supported, can the district really deny the need? I find that hard to believe. The problem, I think, is that yes, people often complain about needing more resources. But unless you present a strong argument with evidence instead of a generic situations then really...why would anyone take you seriously?

Stupid...

I did a stupid thing today... I don't know what I was thinking not telling my supervisor that I would be having a group after school for Computer Club. It was an initiative I had taken on my own. I felt it was so removed from the fact that I am an intern that it would be alright. I asked permission from the assistant principal and assumed it would be okay.

Unfortunately, it could breach my contract and make certain people uneasy... *Sigh*. If I weren't an intern I wouldn't even be worried about this issue. My supervisor and I talk about a lot of things, but she's also in the middle of things a lot and I don't like to bother her. I've tried to do things on my own, but this was just dumb. Of course I would need to let her know. What was I thinking?

*Sigh*

My journey has indeed begun... It's the end of my 2nd month here. I'm about 1/5th of the way through my training. I've decided that change happens too slowly and my awful start has really set me up for a difficult year. As a general optimist, the beginning of the year was pretty important. It's a kickoff and a good time to make connections and get started. With 1/5th of the year already over, I'm somewhat discouraged about making positive changes...

I've also felt a bit less smart than I thought I was. It's been pretty humbling being in the school system working with people that have so much experience. I'm really learning the process now, but my confidence for the profession is dwindling. I miss my classes, my classmates, my professors. I miss positive attitudes and the latest in research. The disconnect between the classroom and the school is quite frustrating. I often ask myself, "what good is my education if the rest of these people don't know what the heck I'm talking about?" It isn't even that I couldn't teach them or bring it up -- because I could. The problem is that it isn't something I can bring up in any sort of regular team meeting because it's so obscure to talk about research based programs and ongoing assessment of these interventions.

I'd really like to run things a lot differently all over my school. There's a culture here that makes me feel quiet. I don't like that feeling. If I had plans to stay here long term, I might be pushing harder, but I don't.

So for now I'm going to do the best I can. The cases I have are gold and I can really dedicate my time to them. I don't feel overwelmed and I do see change happening at the elementary where I feel my education is valued. The education system here is amazing. If there's anything going for this district, it's that their education is just wonderful. The unfortunate part about it is that there isn't enough for students that can't succeed. And most high school people know that most of the problems at the high school aren't even related to academics. :/

I'll try to be better about updating this and maybe being a little less pessimistic ;).

Internship Begins.

I haven't had much time to update here on my journey to becoming a school psychologist. As it is my lunch and I am fasting, I figure I would take this opportunity to share. I have begun my internship at the same site I did my practicum last year.

While the previous year was surrounded by a fog of knowledge about the direction of eduction, the beginning of this year was quite the contrary. Rather, the year began with talk of change and development. Not only that, but RTI was a topic at hand. I was agast. My "challenge" school just became my "progressive" school. Of course, credit to that change most certainly comes from the state mandate, but I'm happy to see change all the same.

As an intern, you're not treated like a faculty member here. I found that out VERY quickly. No orientation, no paperwork notices, no work space, no computer, no e-mail, no ID, no, no, ....and no. Nothing is quite as frustrating as sitting around for two weeks without everything in order. This is not a shadowing position -- it's a practicum training -- as in, practice. Rest assured. Slowly, but surely, things began to fall into place. I share an office, I have my filing space, I have e-mail, and all my paperwork is done. I also found out today that my laptop is finally available.

So, it's week 4, but at least I've started "working." I have several cases that I'm working on and I'm actually using my brain. I'm finally feeling like I have input to share and like I am a part of the team. That will grow IMMENSELY when I have a computer to work with. I can't keep using these public computers because all of my work -- including e-mail, is confidential! Soon it will come together.

I'll hopefully set out some time in my day to reflect every once and awhile. I believe my journals to be helpful to others since I somehow get international hits... Until then.

ELL Classes

After presenting in my consultation class about ELL classes I discovered that I had no idea what sort of ELL services were offered at the high school. I knew about all of the types of ELL programming, like English-only, pull out, transitional, maintenance, and dual-language learning. I thought that surely a school with so many resources would have some of the best researched ELL programs available (maintenance or dual-language learning). But to my surprise, students in ELL classes received instruction only in English with the idea of teaching English (rather than maintaining the student's native language). Therefore, if you are a 15-year old student coming straight from a foreign country, you would be placed in an ELL class where no one spoke your language and also regular English classes -- expected to perform at the same level as everyone else.

Does that sound crazy to anyone else?

Granted, I can appreciate that my area happens to only have about 30-40 students per year that qualify for ELL services. But can we really call that services? Are we doing them some kind of service by forcing English and American expectations on them? Is the argument really that it is the best we can do?

My mother is an assistant principal at a Chicago Public School with a community filled with diversity. I almost wonder if the students at my high school would be better off in Chicago where they would at least be immersed in a diverse community.

When I went to observe the ELL resource classroom at my school, I had a long conversation with the teachers about these issues. As they are on the front lines, they are well aware of all of these complications. I asked them if they had an advocate and there seemed to be some gray about that. We sat and brainstormed possible solutions to many of the problems. I truly hope that next year we can figure out some new ways to accommodate these students. We discussed the possibility of a school-community collaboration with diverse communities. Gathering a resource list of bilingual social service members would also be beneficial to have.

It just boggles my mind how a community can support new sports uniforms when students aren't receiving an appropriate education.

Lethargy Doesn't Work

This week was interesting because the morning began with almost absolute silence for 2 hours. I try not to bother my supervisor when I know that she has a full day because she has to write reports, score data, and plan. On the other hand, it usually leaves me terribly bored and lethargic. I try to bring in school work or books, but 2 hours is a long time. So after the hours were up, I had a student interview with a student. I don't think I could be any more drained while giving this interview. I could hear in my voice that it was too calm. And I realized that if I was going to get any true or useful information out of the student that I was going to have to have more energy. Unfortunately, the interview did not spur more energy. I got the information I needed, but I think I've learned a lesson from the experience. Drink coffee or tea or move around prior to talking with students.

By the end of the day, things had gotten more interesting, but it was still generally slow. I wrote up my student interview, counseling group was canceled, did my classroom observation without the teacher there (and hence no intervention was done), and attended a meeting. The final part of the day involved a meeting with the assistant principal and a few other people regarding the high school's implementation of RTI. This is very interesting to me because I like parts of RTI. In addition to liking the idea, we've actually learned a great deal about it. So much so, that the process appears simple to implement. However, when discussing it in the meeting, it felt completely overwhelming.

I knew that what they were saying was about RTI and I think I understood what was trying to be done, but the vocabulary was entirely different. There was this strange hesitation about it that I felt would hinder any kind of transition to RTI. Apparently, RTI is being discussed at the district level, a group made up of many members of the district, and then by each school. Therefore, communication was being addressed at all different areas and it seems confusing at best because there was an uncertainty about what should be done. As I tried to make sense of how things were being done, I felt I was being pushed away at the same time. I don't feel included in the process -- not that I need to be, but I feel like I have a lot of valuable information. I would love to be on the official task force for implementing RTI. Instead, I'm somewhere in the middle getting bits and pieces of it and trying to make sense of what is going on. I hope that when the year is over I can discuss with my supervisor to include me in the plans for next year.

Consultation Week

This week I had the opportunity to have several consultation opportunities with teachers about two different students. I was able to apply much of the techniques that I have been learning in our consultation class. I have found that the teachers I am working with really desire tools to manage a particular student. In their eyes, they have tried everything with a student. At least, everything they can think of. My goal is to present ideas that may not have been thought of, but also think of solutions collaboratively.

In one of my consultations, another teacher joined in. When that teacher joined in, she offered her own frustrations. Typically, that sort of thing is fine. However, when trying to problem solve it puts more of the pressure on me. It became a "well, what's your idea? what should be done?" rather than a team effort. This taught me that I should try to consult in a more private area when accessible.

I am looking forward to my internship next year. I am hoping that I will have some kind of office space that is private enough for situations like I described or for testing. I think that I will be much more effective if I have these things. I have learned that I will have a laptop which is great. I am much more useful when I am given technology to learn.

Aside from consultation, I did some report writing and intervention planning. That is hopefully another area that I will be able to spend time doing at work next year. While I do not mind bringing work home generally, I work much better when I am in a work environment doing work. It is unfortunate when school psychologists have to do their report writing at home because they do not always have the resources they need at home. I found out that I will likely have about 25 cases next year. This should give me enough time to finish work at work -- hopefully.